Monday, May 18, 2009

Patience, is a vurtue?

I don't know how some people do it, I certainly don't know how my mother in law does it. I spent Monday with my mom at her long term care facility. She was in a reasonably good mood, except that she thinks she's special and staff should drop everything and everyone and tend to her. It really doesn't matter how many times you explain to her that she is not "all that needy" and she needs to be a little more patient. Anyway, when my patience started to run out I left. It was almost her bed time and I thought that was a good time, since next she would want me to spend the night. As my mother in law lives close by, I thought I would save myself a very costly bus trip and spend the night at her house, since I was returning the next morning. Well Mother's Day is not enough for some mothers. My mother in law tends to her youngest son who is severely disabled. There is no doubt in my mind she will be in Heaven. I didn't get much sleep, and I thought she does this everyday/night and for the last 40 years. She's 78years old. So just when you get pissed off at your kids, thank your lucky stars that they are what and who they are, it could always be worse. Then I went to see my mother again, I was feeling guilty for her wearing my patience thin, and she did again to me all over again the next day. Then I decided she's not doing "it" to me, this is the price of dementia. I'm not much company for her all frustrated and impatient, I need to let her be who she has become, and I need to step away if I wearing out. I need to stop feeling "Guilty". I'm doing all I can, and so is she. I also think I need to appreciate the fact that she can still try my patience, that means she's still got some personality it may be all too soon that she will be completely too docile. So while I'm exhausted from the ordeal, I sat back today and thought I'm going to be doing this to my kids, so maybe I should set a better example so they visit me at least once a year.

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